APRIL FOOL
04/01/01
Chester and Marlene
Anderson were stunned last week to receive notification from
their local quick care that bills incurred following their
child’s bicycling accident had been paid promptly and in full
by the Anderson’s health maintenance organization.
“When I saw the quick care’s return address on the
envelope, I just assumed it was the first past due notice,”
said Marlene Anderson. “After all, the accident only happened
five weeks ago.
“When I opened it up and saw that it was stamped ‘paid’ my
jaw dropped to the floor.”
“You could have knocked me over with a feather,” added
Chester Anderson. “I’ve heard a lot of things about HMOs. But
I’ve never heard of one paying for health care on time, and
without an argument.”
The prompt settlement of the bill came as no less a
surprise to officials with Financial Health Care, Inc., the
HMO that has been receiving $400 from the Andersons every
month for the last three years.
“We’re investigating the Anderson case, and hope to
determine exactly what happened here,” said Seymour
Proffitt with Financial Health Care’s investor relations
department. “Obviously, this isn’t the way we normally do
things, and we’re committed to finding out what went wrong.”
News of the health plan’s unusual transaction spread
quickly through Wall Street, and some financial analysts
downgraded the HMO from “buy” to “what the hell do they think
they’re doing.”
Proffit confirmed that top company executives held a
hurried conference call with analysts to assure the investment
community that the Anderson case does not mark a shift in
corporate policy and in no way signals the start of widespread
payments to health care providers.
“This payment was an aberration, and we’re not ruling out
the possibility of taking legal action against the Andersons
to recoup our losses,” Proffitt said. “It’s important
that the financial community and our shareholders understand
that this HMO is in business to make money, not
spend money on health care.”